The Fall Soldier
whoa there satan
(Source: daryl-the-lil-asskicker, via excitatori)
one time i said “no hetero, no hetero” in school
and this popular athletic straight boy sittin in front of me turned around super slow and looked at me and went “no… hetero?” in the TINIEST MOST BROKEN VOICE IMAGINABLE like he looked and sounded so timid and confused and he was looking at me like his whole life has been a lie because he realized he might be sitting near a queer person
just think about y’all millions and millions of little dark skinned black girls are going to go to the supermarket with their parents this month and when they’re waiting in line at the check out aisle they’re going to look up and see Lupita Nyong’o being hailed as the most beautiful woman in the world god is amazing
do you ever listen to music and suddenly you’re like wow I want my life to be the way this song sounds I want to live in this song
(Source: briansellah, via sourpatchsaint)
AIR FORCE HUA
my favourite picture on tumblr ever
I AM LAUGHING SO HARD BECAUSE I THOUGHT OF 22 AND I SAID “TOOTY TWO” OUT LOUD AT 4AM OH GOD
I have realized my mistake
HEY HEY HEY HEYYYYYYYY MY FAVORITE QUEER DRUNK ASSHOLE POET TURNED 450 TODAY (and let me tell you, there is a lot of competition for the title “favorite queer drunk asshole poet”)
BUT as we all know, there is some controversy over who ACTUALLY wrote shakespeare’s plays!
so in order to mark this SERIOUS and LEGITIMATE issue, i have compiled the most likely theories in this comprehensive list:
- in julius caesar, cassius says, “this is my birthday; on this very day cassius was born.” on that same day, cassius DIES. guess who else was not only born on april 23, but died april 23?? that’s right, shakespeare. english playwright? or ancient roman ghost bent on revenge? YOU BE THE JUDGE.
- shakespeare married a woman called anne hathaway. BATMAN ALSO MARRIED ANNE HATHAWAY. have you ever seen shakespeare and batman in the same place at the same time??????
- lived in london? totally encountered prostitutes several times? probably spoke english? william shakespeare……. or JACK THE RIPPER
- uh, excuse me, an uneducated glovemaker’s son couldn’t possibly have written the 38 works of art attributed to shakespeare. please consider instead this picture of a cat pushing another cat in a shopping cart. you’re welcome.
- ””“”“”“”“”“president obama????”“”“”“”“” more like PRESIDENT WILLIAMSHAKESPOBAMA. wake UP, america
- ME I’M WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE I HAVE BEEN SHAKESPEARE ALL ALONG AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU FOOLS YOU IGNORANT FOOLS
Anonymous asked: Hello, I am writing because I'm facing a most dreadful problem - my house is entirely devoid of ghosts! I am completely at a loss as to what to do in this situation. Is there any advice you could provide?
First of all, introduce yourself. Write your name on a piece of paper, light a candle, and burn said. Greet your home whenever you enter, you never know who will be listening.
The loudest ghost stories involve objects moving and sensations and sounds and all manner of things. Lovely, but most certainly not the complete story.
The quietest ghost stories are never told.
Stories of found keys, or suddenly remembered appointments, or food tasting better than it ought. Of cool breezes, feeling especially pleasant, on too hot days. Of warm drinks, especially comforting, on too cold days.
Smile in the mirror when you pass it.
The quietest ghost stories involve milk remaining proper a day or two longer the “best by” date, of fruit being a bit sweeter, of rain drops making a particularly pleasant cadence against the windows.
Knock gently upon the walls as you walk from one room to another. Not always, but sometimes, when you need a hug and an affectionate touch.
The quietest ghost stories are suddenly remembering a line from your favorite book, or a quote from your favorite movie. Sneezes going unsneezed, phones charging a bit faster, a bed feeling particularly comfortable as if unseen hands tightened up the sheets and fluffed the pillows.
Calm your fears of living in an unhaunted home and quietly appreciate the range of flavors the eldritch world presents. Your surprises will be pleasant.